Crushed Hopes: Overcoming Unmet Expectations
Feeling discouraged? Let down by others? It’s hard to live with shattered dreams.
This book is for those needing help in coping with and overcoming unmet expectations—it’s packed with useful suggestions to help you recover from your broken dreams. This book will help you to: -let go of unmet expectations-develop realistic expectations-draw on spiritual sources for strength-navigate your relationships carefully-maintain the right mindset.
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Book Reviews
This book is excellent, excellent, excellent! Crushed Hopes is well researched and well written. It is an easy read, gripping and hard to put down. This 109-page book is packed with workable life-situation, easy-to-relate-to recovery tips and strategies. Its 24 battle-proven suggestions can help a person recover from broken dreams. Thank you, Dr. Jim Stout, for writing such a practical, inspiring book. Your books have helped so many people including me!
—Dr. Robert R. Long
Former Executive Director, and now Chairman Emeritus, of Coalition for Christian Outreach
In this book, Rev. Dr. Jim Stout provides advice for how to bounce back from hope-crushing disillusionments. His 24 insights will guide you through how to make lemonade from lemons or wine from crushed grapes. Especially important, he provides guidelines for how to avoid rage and revenge and how to change unmet expectations into future dreams.
—Karen Mason, Ph.D., L.P.C.
Professor of Counseling and Psychology
Director of the Hamilton Counseling Program
Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary
The honest openness to the painful results of crushed hopes and the choices presented exude a fountain of encouragement. I find the book such a powerful read that I am sending a copy to our daughter who has just experienced a series of crushed hopes.
—Carol Grieves
I feel like you wrote for me. As a young man, I never understood the appeal of a literary tragedy. Now, in my early sixties, I am successfully married for 35 years, have two wonderful sons and am a respected professional in the community. Yet, I feel some uneasiness, as if my life in some ways is a tragedy. The concept of Crushed Hopes and Unmet Expectations better defines those feeling, indicates they are normal, and gives insight into averting that potential tragedy for a happy, fulfilling life.
—Edward Rohaly
It was easy to read, very practical and helpful. I learned how to take proactive steps in overcoming disappointment. I grasped how to be flexible in order to move on from staying stuck in failed situations. I must say the foundation of these strategies were taught to me by Leah and Jim when I was 14-18 years of age under their guidance as my youth leaders. Life comes full circle and the foundation of Christ’s love for me has been the rock and hope of my letting go of all bitterness from disappointments, so they would not engulf my life. Instead, I learned to see the joy of being grateful in all things every day and the peace that brings to my soul.
—Beatriz Pando
All of us experience disappointments and unmet expectations in our daily lives. How we react and deal with them can make all the difference in how we move forward. This is the central message of “Crushed Hopes.” The book reinforced for me the importance of never forgetting the Lord is in control and has a plan for my life. It also provides simple, sage advice, and practical tools that I can use every day. With every disappointment or unmet expectation, I have three options: give up, give in, or give it all I've got. Jim's book has been a great encouragement to me.
—John Gass
Table of Contents
Preface
Introduction
Part I: Let Go of Unmet Expectations
1. Accept the reality of your lost hopes
2. Count the cost of pursuing your fading dream—for you and others
3. Let go of your aspirations for yourself, other people, or situations
4. Let go of your hurt, anger, and desire for revenge
5. Don’t secretly cling to your expectations
Part II: Develop Realistic Expectations
6. Take a mental inventory of your letdowns
7. If you often have unrealistic expectations, lower your expectation bar
8. In certain cases, try raising your expectation bar
9. Go with the solution that works, not one that should work
10. Revise your past goals or set new ones
11. Plan ahead for future, unmet expectations
Part III: Navigate Your Relationships Carefully
12. Get support from others
13. Go where the love is, not where it should be or ought to be
14. Don’t risk ill-timed confrontations
15. Don’t take personally the words and actions of insensitive people
Part IV: Draw On Spiritual Sources for Strength
16. Release control of your circumstances to God
17. Keep asking God for his help and guidance
18. Thank God each morning for three blessings you received yesterday
Part V: Maintain the Right Mindset
19. Allow yourself to grieve
20. Distract yourself from negative thinking
21. Do something every day to treat yourself
22. Remind yourself often that “This too shall pass”
23. Take personal responsibility for your reactions to disrupted hopes
24. Find resources for coping and rebuilding
Reviewing Key Points
Conclusion
Acknowledgments
Notes